Sarah Palin announced today that she is producing a Video that explains
in detail the "PALIN Method" for sexual contact between two married,
born-again christians. Basically, this is the same method that Sarah
Palin has used and perfected all 18 times that she has had
human-oriented sex. And each time she was able to eliminated any
pleasure and all that animalistic moaning and groaning crap so she was
calm and rational and able to direct her partner's semenal discharge into
her very loose and large birth canal with the precision of a surgeon
and the clamness of a fighter pilot. The PALIN SEX METHOD helps break
one of the great barriers in Christian SEX: Communication. Yes, for
many people intimate communication is not only difficult, but at times
can reach a level of baseness that excludes it from Christian value
consideration.

But, now, you too will be able to have sex with no pleasure; no
moaning, no groaning, just like Sarah. You will be able to conduct a normal
conversation with your spouse as your two bodies perform the Christian
Sexual Act; and, at the moment of ejaculation, you will be able with
calm conservative christian logic to look your spouse in the eye when
he announces that "The Seeds of the L0RD" are now are on their way to
the egg cave. Like Sarah. you will then be able, without any moaning or
groaning, to confirm that the sperm is indeed in your body and proceeding
to the egg cave where your little christian eggs are waiting for the
christian sperm to come and touch them. Now, this is what Christian
SEX is all about-- not that other vile stuff that one sees in pornographic
pictures where agents of Satan perform all sorts of indecent acts upon each
other while ranting and raving with foul words and demeaning sexual comments.

The RNC announced that it will be sending millions of copies of Sarah Palin's
sex video to its sexually-dysfuctional conservative christian base throughout
America to show them how to have proper christian sex, just like Sarah Palin and
her supporters.

As questions have been raised over how thoroughly Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign vetted Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin for the V.P. slot, it seems the McCain campaign was unaware of a video -- available online -- in which Palin talks about God's role in U.S. military action overseas, according to a political operative familiar with the situation.The video, first reported by the liberal blog HuffingtoPost.com is from a June Palin speech to the graduating class of commission students at Palin's former church in Wasilla, Alaska. While describing her family, Palin told students about her oldest son, 19-year-old Track, who is set to be deployed to Iraq this month with the U.S. Army. She urged students to pray “that our leaders -- that our national leaders -- are sending [soldiers] out on a task that is from God.”
She added, “That's what we have to make sure that we are praying for: that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan.”
“It's pretty uncomfortable stuff,” said the political operative, after watching the video online. “It's bad. It's really bad. … It's going to be interesting to see how this plays out.”
In addition to talking about Iraq, Palin also referred to God's role in her work as governor.
“I can do my part in working really, really hard to get a natural gas pipeline, about a $30 billion project that's going to create a lot of jobs for Alaska. … [but] I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that,” she said. “I can do my job there in developing our natural resources, in doing things like getting the roads paved and making sure our troopers have their cop cars and their uniforms and their guns, and making sure our public schools are funded. But really that stuff doesn't do any good if the people of Alaska's hearts aren't right with God.”
It wasn't all serious, though. At one point during the address, Palin praised the graduating class as “a bunch of cool-looking Christians.” Then she picked out one student in the crowd and said with a smile, “Ben, I don't know you well enough yet, but looking at you, I'm thinking, people are going to interested in Jesus Christ through you because of the way you look - this red-headed Sasquatch for Jesus. You look good!” The students cheered. “Times are really changin'. And with the times that change, looks even change.”

Scary Stuff (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/02/palins-church-may-have-sh_n_123205.html)

:bombout:

....at the moment of ejaculation, you will be able with
calm conservative christian logic to look your spouse in the eye when
he announces that "The Seeds of the L0RD" are now are on their way to
the egg cave.

BWAAAAAHAHAHhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!

Thanks, Lance.

That was hilarious.

Plus, knowing what I know about fundamentalist cretins like Palin, there is probably more than a grain of truth to it......

While describing her family, Palin told students about her oldest son, 19-year-old Track, who is set to be deployed to Iraq this month with the U.S. Army. She urged students to pray “that our leaders -- that our national leaders -- are sending [soldiers] out on a task that is from God.”

Well, you know. I guess there could be something that this 'Assemblies of Gawd' adherent/governor could have spewed that would sound more preposterous or more disturbing.

I can't really think of what it might be, though.

:thumbs:

As questions have been raised over how thoroughly Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign vetted Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin for the V.P. slot, it seems the McCain campaign was unaware of a video -- available online -- in which Palin talks about God's role in U.S. military action overseas, according to a political operative familiar with the situation.

I'm wondering if this was one of the worst vetting jobs in recent history or if McCain was so enthralled with her "maverick" personality he just ignored the process and chose her.